Overcome Social Anxiety By
Eliminating Your Desire To
Avoid Certain Outcomes
In Social Situations
To overcome social anxiety,
you have to eliminate the desire that you have, to avoid certain
outcomes within social situations. I have made this reality very clear
in my main article about overcoming social anxiety.
To be able to eliminate that desire to avoid
certain outcomes in social situations, all possible outcomes in social
situations must lose their potential for leading to you experiencing
emotional pain. This is because your desire to avoid certain outcomes,
is driven by the possibility that the outcomes
could inflict emotional pain.
Thus, if you can find a way to prevent that
pain, the desire to avoid
the outcomes will no longer need to exist (and you'll then be able to
overcome social anxiety by eliminating the desire to avoid).
think about it, it is obvious that
potential pain is the reason for the existence of your desire to avoid
certain outcomes in social situations...
For what reason, other than
foreseen pain, would a person ever have a desire to avoid any outcome
in any situation?
There could be no other possible reason. If
we don't predict that a possible outcome could result in some kind of
pain, then we will have no desire to avoid it. This is basic common
How can we prevent the outcomes
in social situations that you desire to avoid, from leading to pain?
We can prevent these outcomes that you
desire to avoid from leading to pain, by destroying any negative
thoughts that you believe are true about yourself. This will prevent
pain because it is reminders of our existing negative thoughts about
ourselves that lead to pain during outcomes in social situations.
What I'm saying is that there are negative
thoughts that you believe to be true about yourself. Certain outcomes
within social situations might remind you about those negative
thoughts, which would thus result in emotional pain.
negative thoughts about yourself must
be 'destroyed', so that social situations can no longer remind you of
them (the negative thoughts).
That way, pain will no longer be likely
within the outcomes
that you desire to avoid in social situations, because painful
of negative thoughts won't be possible (since you'll have already
those negative thoughts!).
You will then be able to overcome social
anxiety by eliminating your desire to avoid the outcomes in social
situations that you currently desire to avoid. Eliminating this desire
because like I said, those outcomes will then be unable to lead to
Why am I so sure that negative thoughts
cause the pain?
A completely valid question: What makes me
so sure that it is
specifically your negative thoughts, that are capable of inflicting
emotional pain...pain that your
desire to avoid exists to prevent?
Obviously we need to be
sure I'm right about this, because if I'm wrong, my solution to SA will
be wrong too. If my solution was wrong, the potential for pain would
remain in social situations, and thus your social-anxiety-inducing
desire to avoid would stay too.
Emotional pain (or pleasure) levels are
decided upon by the types of thoughts that we are having. If our
thoughts are positive, we'll experience positive emotions (pleasure),
but if our thoughts are negative, we'll experience negative emotions
Evidence that thoughts control emotions can
be found by conducting a small (but morbid) test. Imagine that someone
famous who you admire, has died. Let your mind see that it has happened
(even though it hasn't!). You'll find that you experience emotional
Do this test now. If it doesn't work, try
doing it when thinking about someone you're closer to. Perhaps your
The emotional pain you experience from this
small test shows that it is thoughts (and not reality itself) that
decide what emotions you'll feel. The pain from the test clearly shows
this because despite the fact that the morbid thought does NOT reflect
reality, it still has the power to upset you!
Fiction books can have the same effect on
us...reading them can affect our emotions even when we know that the
story is fictitious.
This shows that the words we read manifest
thoughts in our heads, and our emotions are then decided upon by the
those thoughts – despite the fact that the thoughts CONTRAST 'real
life' (since they stem from fictitious material).
here is: It isn't 'real life'
that decides how much pain you feel from any particular stimulus or
outcome. Instead, it is
the content of your thoughts that decides
whether or not you feel pain.
An outcome in a social situation (or any
situation) would only be able to cause you emotional pain, IF that
outcome manages to affect your thoughts in a negative way. This has to
be true because unless your thoughts are affected negatively, there can
be no pain.
Why am I so sure that your painful
thoughts are thoughts about YOURSELF?
The example I used above to demonstrate
negative thoughts lead to pain, was misleading. It was misleading
because it didn't show you that the negative thoughts that can lead to
pain for you in
social situations, are thoughts about yourself. Instead, the example
asked you to think a negative thought that wasn't
Due to the misleading nature of that
example, allow me to now make clear that the thoughts you'd have,
that would cause you pain during the outcomes in social situations that
you desire to avoid, ARE thoughts about yourself:
Since you ARE you, your mind's primary focus
is on...YOU. This means that much of
the time, your thoughts, be they negative or positive, relate back to
you in some way.
Even thoughts that are not about you...your
pattern still often reverts back to, “how does the subject I am
right now affect me?”
Since your mind is so laser-focused on you
(as is human nature), any negative thoughts that persist long enough
for you to believe you might be painfully reminded about them in social
situations, are almost certainly thoughts about yourself, or your life.
just said means that an outcome in a
social situation would encourage you to think negatively (consistently
enough to cause emotional pain) IF the outcome leads you into having
negative thoughts about yourself or your life.
Your thinking is just too naturally
laser-focused on yourself, for negative thoughts about things other
than yourself, to have enough time in your mind to cause you any
The point I am getting to is that the
outcomes that you desire to avoid in social situations would be painful
because they would lead you into having negative thoughts about
You may already recognize that you often
have negative thoughts that are about yourself, regardless of my
Why am I so sure that your painful
negative thoughts are thoughts that
you see as TRUE about yourself?
We humans simply don't let a negative
thought about ourselves 'settle in', if we don't believe that said
negative thought reflects the truth (about ourselves).
If it doesn't
reflect the truth, we'll dismiss it very quickly and move onto thinking
about something else...likely something that DOES reflect some kind of
Here's a demonstration of what I mean: if
the outcome of a social situation leads to you thinking, “physically,
I'm out of shape right now”, that negative thought would NOT settle in
and cause emotional pain, IF actually, you believe that you are in good
If you believe you're in good shape, it
would contrast what you
see as the truth, so it wouldn't get the chance to stick around in your
mind and cause emotional pain.
However, if you believe that you ARE out of
shape, and the outcome of a social situation leads to you thinking
“physically, I'm out of shape”, then that negative thought WILL stay in
your mind and inflict emotional pain. Why?
Because you'd see it as the
truth, so it's not as if you could just dismiss it from your mind as
...All you could do is refuse to think
about that truth, and hide from being painfully reminded about it by
people – which actually, is exactly what you have been doing in your
own life by physically obeying your desire to
all means is that certain
outcomes in social situations can send us into 'negative thought mode',
because those outcomes remind us of something negative about ourselves
that we recognize as true.
That is clearly correct because we simply
don't allow negative thoughts that we see as UNtrue, to settle into our
minds long enough to inflict pain. If the thought doesn't reflect what
we see as the truth, then why would we continue to think it? Very
simply, we wouldn't.
Essentially, certain potential outcomes in
social situations would remind us of negative thoughts about ourselves
that we believe to be TRUE - and those negative thoughts cause
that our desire to avoid exists to prevent.
So what's the solution to all this?
Destroy the negative thoughts
that you see as true about yourself.
Doing that will mean that the outcomes
you wish to avoid in social situations
will lose their potential
for leading to pain
I have made it very clear that your desire
to avoid certain outcomes in social situations (stopping this solves
social anxiety) CAN be stopped, by those
outcomes losing their potential for inflicting pain on you.
I have also shown you that this pain is
only possible in the first place because these certain outcomes in
social situations that you desire to avoid, would remind you of
negative thoughts about yourself
that you already believe to be true.
What the above ultimately means is that if
you destroy the negative thoughts that you believe to be true about
yourself, the pain that your desire to avoid exists to prevent, will NO
LONGER be possible.
With that pain no longer possible, you'll
then be able
to eliminate your desire to avoid certain outcomes in social
because those outcomes will not be able to lead to pain.
With the desire to avoid
outcomes in social situations eliminated, the primal part of your brain
won't be able to perceive those situations as potentially threatening.
This means your social anxiety will not trigger (i.e. you will overcome
The question we must ask at this point is,
HOW can you destroy the negative thoughts that you believe to be true
There are negative thoughts that you see as
true about yourself, and those negative thoughts must be destroyed/
removed from your mind.
is because being reminded of those negative thoughts during the
outcomes that you desire to avoid within social situations,
painful for you. So, if you
destroy the negative thoughts, no pain will be possible from those
pain being possible from the
outcomes that you desire to avoid in social situations, you
be able to STOP that desire to avoid, since it only existed in the
first place to prevent pain.
Of course, stopping the desire to avoid
certain outcomes in social situations lets you overcome social anxiety.
If you click on the closest subheading above,
you'll find yourself reading the article in which I will show you how
to destroy the negative thoughts that you see as true about
yourself. This will enable you to finally overcome social anxiety!
Once you have destroyed the negative
thoughts (about yourself) that the outcomes you desire to avoid
(outcomes within social situations) could painfully remind
you of, you will then be in a position where no pain is possible if
those outcomes happen.
This means that you'll be able to implement
the cure to social anxiety into your life, which is, as I've said all
along: the process of eliminating
your desire to avoid certain outcomes in social situations.
If you click on the closest above headline,
you'll be taken to the article in which I will explain to you HOW you
can get rid of your desire to avoid certain outcomes in social
situations. In getting rid of that desire to avoid, you will
done the final step that lets you overcome social anxiety!
Are You Aware of My Step-by-Step System
For Becoming Socially Comfortable?
I created the Social Anxiety Solved System
to enable you to overcome social anxiety. The System walks you
step-by-step through the processes described above, that you must go
through to overcome social anxiety.
you really will overcome social anxiety/
comfortable. This means you'll
be able to stroll straight out of your
front door each day without ANY hesitation over who you might see or
what they might think.
Let me tell you from experience that the
first time this happens, the feeling of freedom is amazing! 'Inner
liberation' is the best phrase I can think of to describe it.
link in this sentence and I'll explain more to you about The Social Anxiety Solved System.
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