How To Overcome Social Anxiety:
Destroy The Negative Thoughts That
You Believe Are True About Yourself
to overcome social
anxiety: Eliminate your desire to avoid certain outcomes
social situations, by destroying the negative thoughts that you believe
to be the truth about yourself...
Let's make this easy to understand by
starting at the beginning.
There are negative thoughts
that you believe to be true about yourself. Due to the emotionally
painful nature of these negative thoughts, you currently have a desire
to avoid any outcomes in social situations that might painfully remind
you of them (the negative thoughts).
That desire to avoid is what triggers (causes) your social anxiety.
To solve your social anxiety you must
it's cause, which is your desire to avoid certain outcomes in social
situations. I explained this fully in my main article about overcoming social anxiety.
To eliminate your desire to avoid, emotional pain must
become NOT possible in the event that any of the outcomes that you
desire to avoid, happen. This is
because it is potential emotional pain that the desire to avoid exists
only possible within those outcomes that you desire to avoid, because
the outcomes would cause you to encounter reminders of negative
you believe are
true about yourself. I made this crystal clear in my other article
that'll help you to overcome social anxiety.
negative thoughts about yourself must
be destroyed/ removed from your mind. Why?
Because if you destroy those thoughts,
you'll no longer be able to encounter painful reminders of them from
any outcomes in social situations.
What I'm really saying is, by destroying
those negative thoughts, pain will then NOT be possible from any
potential outcomes within social situations.
As soon as pain isn't possible within
potential outcomes in social situations, you will then be able to stop
your desire to avoid those outcomes. The stopping of this desire will
mean you'll no longer need to wonder how to overcome social anxiety,
because you'll have already cured yourself!
The question is:
How can we destroy the negative thoughts
that you believe to be true about yourself?
The type of technique that is best for
destroying a negative thought (a negative thought that you believe is
yourself) will depend on something. What will the technique depend
What the best technique is, for destroying a
specific negative thought about yourself, will depend on which of the
following 3 scenarios the
thought in question, relates to:
that there is NO
to show that a particular negative thought
If you believe there is NO real-world
physical evidence that a negative thought is true about you, then the
ONLY technique you can use to destroy the thought, is to mentally
override it with
a new positive thought.
This technique WILL work to destroy the
- because the thought is not even true, as the lack of physical
What I'm saying is that with some negative
thoughts (that you see as Negative Truths about yourself), we'll need
to change your thinking so that you believe a new positive thought
about yourself. This technique replaces the negative thought that you
believed to be true about you, with a positive one.
As I said, such
purely mental change is necessary in scenarios where there is NO
physical evidence in the world that suggests that a particular negative
thought is true about you.
For example, I figured out that a negative
thought that I saw as a Negative Truth about myself was, “I am inferior
to other people.” The thing is, there was no real-world physical
that demonstrated to me that this was true.
That lack of physical
evidence showed me that this negative thought was actually not the
Truth about me at all.
this scenario, all I had to do was
choose, and then practice telling myself, a new positive thought. This
replaced the negative thought as what I believed to be the Truth about
That technique was effective in destroying
thought that I had about myself, because the negative thought wasn't
actually true in the
first place...so there was nothing stopping me from believing the new
positive thought that I told myself.
Hopefully my example just above has
successfully explained to you WHY, with some negative thoughts, the
only necessary course of
action will be to change your thinking.
Changing your thinking as I described will
let your mind
see that this type of negative thought that lacks physical
evidence of truth, is NOT actually true about you at all. Once your
mind can see this, the negative thought will have been
You find that there IS physical evidence
show that a particular negative thought
is true about you
If you believe there IS physical evidence in
your life that a negative thought IS true about you, physical change
(in your life) is often necessary in order to destroy that negative
Such change is necessary because without
it, physical reality (evidence that shows this thought to actually BE
true) would always lead your thinking about it back down a negative
(painful) path. Why?
Because you don't want it to be true, shown
fact that your thinking towards it became negative in the first place,
BUT without physical change it would still BE true - so you'd always
think of it in a negative light.
You'd be unable to destroy this negative
thought (that you see as a Negative Truth about yourself) with a purely
mental approach like in Scenario 1 above, because physical evidence
the thought is the Truth would still remain.
Destroying a negative thought that physical
evidence shows to be true, usually involves physically making changes
life. This way there won't be any evidence left in the physical world
that it is true.
If a negative thought becomes physically NO
true, you'll stop seeing it as the Truth due to there no longer being
any physical evidence to show that it is true! So it will have then
The key point is, if you can see that the
physically true, then you need to physically make it NOT true. Just
changing your thinking to positive (like you would in Scenario 1 above)
would NOT be enough to stop you seeing this thought as negatively true
For instance, for a long time, a negative
thought I had about myself (that I saw as true) was, “I never go on
dates”. As a result of this negative thought, I wanted to avoid the
potential outcome in a social situation where my lack of a dating life
would be mentioned. Why?
Because reference to my lack of a dating
life would feel painful – since reference to it would activate MY
already negative thinking about it.
a scenario like that, the only way that
I could destroy the negative thought was to physically start dating
again. I had to make physical changes in my life so that I was dating
Why was such physical change the ONLY
effective course of action in that scenario?
Well lets say that I instead attempted to
just change my thinking, so that I would look at my lack of a dating
life in a more positive light...
If I did that, physical evidence (my
still remaining lack of a dating life) would always lead my thoughts
back down a negative path – meaning that merely changing my thinking
about my dating life would NOT have worked to destroy the negative
Let's backtrack a tiny bit: Why would
evidence (my still
remaining lack of a dating life) have always lead my thinking back down
a negative path?
Because I would still have wanted to be
dating, and I would still have NOT been dating. This means that
changing my thinking would not have worked to destroy the negative
The obvious solution to that negative
thought (Negative Truth) was for me to physically start dating again.
girls, the negative thought stopped automatically because dating made
the negative thought NOT BE the Negative Truth any more!
Once that negative thought wasn't the
Negative Truth anymore, I was then able to eliminate my desire to avoid
the potential outcome in a social situation where my lack of a dating
life would be mentioned. This was because by then, I didn't
have a lacking dating life, so no negative-thought-driven pain was
possible from that particular outcome!
Of course, once my desire to avoid that
outcome was gone, no indication of threat was perceived by the primal
part of my brain, in social situations where the outcome could have
happened. This lack of perceived threat cured the social anxiety that
I experienced from having my desire to avoid that particular
Hopefully my example just above has shown
you why, with some negative thoughts, the only helpful course of action
will be to physically change your life.
Changing your life as I described will make
negative thoughts that physical evidence showed were true, completely
Once your mind knows that a negative thought is no longer true about
you, you'll have effectively destroyed that negative thought.
You find that there IS physical
to show that a particular negative thought
is true about
BUT there is nothing you can do
about it being true
You may have a negative thought that
physical evidence shows IS true about you, yet ultimately there is
nothing you can do to make it NOT the Truth.
In this case, the ONLY action you can take
is work to accept that the thought IS, and always will be, true about
To elaborate on that: When there is nothing
we can do to make a
negative thought UNtrue (that physical evidence shows IS true about us)
all we can do is remove it's negativity; our negative attitude towards
We can remove our negative attitude towards
a thought/ truth about ourselves by using the fact that we can't do
What we do is, we surrender to the
fact that we can't make the thought untrue, and thus we positively
exactly as it is. In other words, we learn to look at it in a positive
light by realizing that we are powerless to change it.
For instance, a negative thought that I saw
as the Truth about myself was “my physical build is extremely
However much I work out in the gym, I'll
always be quite
light-built compared to most guys. This was a thought that I could not
(and still cannot!) physically do anything about.
With a negative thought like this, the only
thing I could change was my attitude towards it. All I could do was
change my thinking about it from negative, to positive, by accepting
that since I cannot stop it from being the truth, it is supposed to be
Of course, with thought (negative or
positive) being the decider of whether or not we find something
emotionally painful (or enjoyable), my light build became no longer
painful to me. Why?
Because I changed my thoughts towards it to
positive ones, by submitting to the fact that I can't do anything about
My light build remained the Truth
physically, so I still had thoughts about it, but those thoughts were
no longer negative ones that can inflict pain. And as long as the
thoughts aren't negative, that's really all
Hopefully my example just above has helped
you to understand why, with some negative thoughts that you have about
yourself, the only effective course of action will be to mentally
change your thinking.
Changing your thinking as described above,
will enable you to positively accept that negative thoughts that
represent truths you can't do anything about, are and always will be
true. This way, you'll still see the
thoughts as Truths about yourself, but not Negative Truths!
Once you can see a thought as the truth
about yourself, but NOT in a negative fashion, you can consider the
negative thought to have been destroyed.
Ultimately How To
Overcome Social Anxiety:
Destroy the negative thoughts
that you see as Negative Truths about yourself. Sometimes
this involves making them physically
Other times you'll need to realize that a
thought was never true about you in the first place.
And in a few
cases, you might need to learn to accept that a particular thought is,
and always will be,
true about you.
One final time for added clarification: Why
will destroying the negative
thoughts that you see as Negative Truths about yourself solve your
Destroying the negative thoughts that you
see as Negative Truths about yourself WILL solve your Social Anxiety
because it will enable you to eliminate your desire to avoid certain
outcomes in social situations.
WHY will destroying your negative thoughts
about yourself enable you to eliminate your desire to avoid?
Because with your negative thoughts about
yourself destroyed/gone, painful reminders of negative thoughts about
yourself will then NOT be possible within the outcomes in social
situations that you desire to avoid...
If those painful reminders are no longer
possible, then there will be no potential pain likely to occur if those
outcomes happen. This means you'll be able to eliminate your desire to
avoid those outcomes in social situations. Why?
Because your desire to avoid certain
outcomes in social situations only existed in the first place to guard
you from those outcomes leading to pain - and the pain will have
already been made NOT possible by you destroying your negative thoughts!
With pain made NOT possible from all
outcomes in social situations, you can then eliminate your desire to
avoid those outcomes (as described in the article linked below). This
will prevent the primal part of your brain
from perceiving a threat within social situations, and crucially that
means your social anxiety will STOP.
Now that you know how to overcome social
anxiety in terms of destroying your negative thoughts about yourself,
it would be a good idea for you to find out about the cure for social
anxiety; the process that eliminates your desire to avoid certain
outcomes in social situations.
If you click the title above, you'll be
taken to the article in which I'll explain to you what the process is,
FINALLY put an end to your social anxiety.
Are You Aware of
My Step-by-Step System
For Becoming Socially Comfortable?
The Social Anxiety Solved System is a
step-by-step guide on how to overcome social anxiety. It
through doing everything that this article makes clear must be done -
thus resulting in you becoming socially comfortable.
moment you become the socially
comfortable person you want to be,
you'll feel completely willing to talk to, and more importantly show
personality in front of, lots of people.
Some of the people you'll have conversations
with will turn out to be
people you get along great with. So, as
a result of your new sense of social comfort, you'll develop new
friends, who's company you can enjoy in your
link to discover more about The Social Anxiety Solved System
how it can Turbo-Boost YOUR social life.
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